Day 22: Calling All Chamberpots

“Calling All Chamber Pots Into Blameless Service!  Thoughts for the Parenting and the Parented”
Gretchen Vaught

“Better is a dry morsel with quietness than a house full of feasting (on offered sacrifices) with strife.” (Proverbs 17:1, AMP)

As a parent, I find myself too often trying to control outcomes—stop the arguing, stop the bleeding (when my kid skins his knee), stop the failing (draw your own conclusions) … Any attempt to control usually breeds strife. It brings me peace to focus instead on how Father God parents me and to remember that nothing is too far gone or too complex for Him.

Romans 9 exposes the Father heart of God and also brings us some surprising revelations.

… they are not all the children of Abraham because they are by blood his descendants. No, the promise was that your descendants will be called and counted through the line of Isaac, even though Abraham had an older son. In other words, it’s not the children of the body of Abraham who are made God’s children, but it is the offspring to whom the promise applies that shall be counted as Abraham’s true descendants. [verses 7-8]

Within the seed of Abraham, God made a distinction—same earthly father, different trajectories for each son. (Praise God that the hope of redemption is offered to descendants of Ishmael, too! But that’s a different blog post.) God’s designation between the two boys seems unfair to our modern, Western way of thinking. The Word of God acknowledges this in verse 21:

Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same mass one vessel for beauty and distinction and honorable use and another for menial or ignoble or dishonorable use? 

It’s fair to say that no one wants to be fashioned into a chamber pot. We all want to be the king’s chalice. But it’s only human views of honor (ahem, pride) that bring us to this way of thinking. God turns honor upside down. Remember what he said about David’s elder brothers?

But Yahweh said unto Samuel, “Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for Yahweh does not see as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but Yahweh looks on the heart. [1 Samuel 16:7, NKJV]

And further, what Jesus said about those who were blameless at keeping the Jewish law?

Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, pretenders! For you are like tombs that have been whitewashed, which look beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of dead men’s bones. [Matthew 23:27]

From a parenting perspective, I don’t want a kid who does all the right things but who’s dead inside. Neither does Father God. If God looks on the heart, so should I, and that requires godly discernment rather than reacting to the outward appearance. So, I pray, “Lord, give me a son like David, who was ‘a man after your heart.’” [1 Samuel 13:14]

We love the story of David because he was a shepherd with the destiny of a king. But we conveniently forget that he also lived a life on the run, in constant warfare, and committed murder and adultery! If David’s mother saw him only through the lens of his failures, she would have been a very depressed woman and would have missed a tremendous blessing. On the other hand, if she only saw his crown as worthwhile, she would have missed the point.

On a similar note, what must Samson’s mother have thought of his life choices?! [Judges 13-16] How she must have clung to that visit from the angel of God. I wonder what his story would have looked like without his sinful impulses and only God’s anointing? We mamas will do well to bear in mind that only Jesus walked a perfect path …

Maybe we’d do better to pray for children like Moses, who his mother discerned was special from the moment of his birth. She was willing to give him up, allowing him to be mothered by another woman outside of her own home, surely trusting God all the while to fulfill his destiny. And though Moses was far from perfect, God considered him His friend! [Exodus 33:11, 17] Moses seemed to understand parenting. Like his mother, he relinquished control and trusted God, praying, “If you are pleased with me, teach me Your ways so I may know You and continue to find favor with You. Remember that this nation is Your people.” [Exodus 33:13] 

David, Samson, Moses and all the characters of the Bible, as well as our own children, belong to God.

I’m not sure the children God has given to me are destined for an earthly throne, and as a human who sees through a glass darkly, I can’t be sure any one of them might not travel the path of Jonah (initially running from God) or the prodigal son (initially rejecting God). This is not my hope for any of them. Sadly, there is no guarantee that our kids will always do right; even Samuel’s children rejected God. It’s tough to accept that we cannot control the outcome, but we must hold this truth in our hearts along with God’s promises to answer our prayers for our children. Do not look at what’s apparent; trust what is taking place in the spiritual realm. [2 Corinthians 4:18] Nothing is wasted in God’s story.

When my child’s free will falls short of my expectations, I remember the heart of Father God:

For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion (pity) on whom I will have compassion.” So then, God’s gift is not a question of human will or effort, but of God’s mercy. It depends not on one’s own willingness, nor on his strenuous exertion as in running a race, but on God’s having mercy on him. [Romans 9:15-16]

So, other than praying diligently for God to have mercy on my children (and me) as they make their choices, what else is my role as a mother? Again, we go back to God’s Word.

By mercy, love, truth and fidelity to God and man—not by sacrificial offerings [of the law]—iniquity is purged out of the heart. And by reverent, worshipful fear of the Lord men depart from and avoid evil. [Proverbs 16:6]

The whole gospel story is one of God showing compassion and discipline to His children while loving them individually and being faithful to His promises. If we want to emulate God’s parenting example, we must live out the character we want our children to develop, to the best of our ability. We can discourage the root of strife—a destructive condition of the heart—through mercy, love and worship. And most importantly, trust God with the outcome. This is an acceptable sacrifice.